Healing the Shadow
Healing the shadow does not come about through shame.
We heal it through forgiveness, kindness and understanding. ♥
What do I mean by ‘shadow’?
The ‘shadow’ is the part of our psyche that we unconsciously deem unworthy, shameful or not good enough.
It can look like competition, judgment, anger, jealousy, shame, selfishness, fear, control etc…
It is the part of ourselves that we tend to reject, deny and try to distance ourselves from.
Unfortunately, this denial then creates a ‘shadow’ in our psyche.
A darkness that we are unable or unwilling to acknowledge and look at.
Because we unconsciously don’t want to look at this part of ourselves, it then gets projected outwards.
We start to see it reflected to us through the outside world.
We may judge others for being a certain way
But in fact, we have these aspects, to varying degrees, within ourself.
In truth, they are not really ‘theirs’ or ‘ours’.
They are just part of the human condition
That we have taken ourselves to be.
The human condition that believes in separation, lack and fear.
They have been created through some warped wisdom of the psyche and its way to adapt.
Do not blame yourself for these parts, but be wary of disowning them.
Merely notice and hold them.
Hold them in gentle, loving Awareness and from this place they can start to be healed and integrated.
Remember – whatever form your’s or another’s shadow may take.
It is not who you or they truly are.
Sometimes, when someone is angry or cruel, we like to say “we have finally seen their true colours”
No. We haven’t.
We have simply seen their shadow…a very young, scared and wounded part of themselves.
With this understanding, we must try to have forgiveness both for ourselves and others.
We can only exist at the level of consciousness we are.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Simply compassion, mercy and kindness.
Kindness is the only way.
Can you own your shadow without shaming yourself for it?
Can you take full responsibility without getting lost in it and turning it into another thing that is ‘wrong’ with you?
Can you see it and apologise and still realise you are worthy of good things in your life?
Sophie is a registered psychotherapist and mindfulness-based counsellor specialising in transpersonal and spiritual counselling as well as leading meditation and healing retreats outside London.